Isadora Tabliss: the Creativity Muse

It is early fall of 2005. I’ve made a Franken head and now I’m ready to move onto bigger projects, but what to make? Now is the time to find the ideas. So there I was, quietly knitting on my front step in the afternoon sun, making a prayer shawl. For those who are unfamiliar, a prayer shawl is knitted for another person who may need healing or support or even just a little extra love. It is a 3 knit, 3 pearl, pattern which is knitted while praying/meditating on blessings for the person. It is a very soothing thing to make and I easily fall into a quiet mind while making them. So there I was, quietly knitting this prayer shawl when, with dreamy eyes, I look up and see my Creativity Muse dancing in front of my inner eye. A beautiful black woman with great long dreads dancing in bare feet, waving her shawl around and laughing.

There she was my first doll vision. Not fully trusting myself, I thought not to spend any money, so into my closet I crawled. There is always a pair of pants in there somewhere that in my wildest dreams I might one day fit again. Today I will be realistic. I will honestly never fit into this pair of pants ever again. It was very freeing. They were made of soft brown hemp.

At this point I must note that I did not own a sewing machine. Once, when I was in high school, I had to sew something. Mom was helping but trying to get me to do it. She got me all set up and set me at it and, as I was still in my school uniform, I promptly sewed my necktie into the project and almost strangled myself. Needless to say I then avoided sewing machines assuming them to be strange household monsters much like the vacuum and washing machine. So Isadora is completely hand sewn, mostly made on my lap while sitting with my husband on the sofa. I had dug out my sewing box, which was filled with lost buttons and some crappy sewing kit from a Christmas cracker and I used the kitchen scissors. I happen to live fairly close to a Lens Mills and found my stuffing there and some stronger thread.

My husband is an abstract artist. He paints and makes sculptures and he likes to make music. When ever I showed any artistic inclination, he would get so excited he would usually declare that he could help. Next thing you know he has grabbed the project and run to his studio saying something about having just the right thing. This could be why I became attracted to knitting. He knows nothing about textiles. The magic of two sticks and a string baffles him so he just watches in awe. There is nothing in his studio that can help with fabric. So over a couple of months I made my Creativity Muse.

What I had actually created was a naked doll with dread locks. Oh my, I know nothing about clothing. I have a hard enough time dressing myself in the morning, let alone making clothing. Sleeves, collars, skirts! Aaarg! She was naked for quite some time. Then a friend said to me, “You don’t have to make clothes, make costumes instead.” That’s right I don’t have to make clothes I can make the illusion of clothes. I was freed.

I had already knitted up Isadora’s shawl. In my vision I saw that she had not woven her ties in. They were flapping wildly as she danced and made me laugh out loud at the sight of her. Her dreads are strung with trade beads and her red onyx necklace matches her fingernail polish. Her skirt fabric is a wonderful Australian print covered in bright insects and earthy things. I overcame several personal creative obstacles to make this little Creativity Muse. As a perfectionist I convinced myself that she did not have to be perfect. I would make her anyway. I found ways to broaden my perspective to find things that would work instead of forcing what wasn’t working. I knew that as my first doll she was always going to be mine so I fell into the process instead of worrying about the result. Isadora has helped me find my creativity.

She truly Is A Door To Bliss

The Red Cloak of Desire

A Doll Makers Journey

I live with an artist. His drive and determination are overwhelming. He paints everyday and when he is not painting he is sketching or building things. The only time he is not making art is when he is sleeping or ill. As a terminally lazy person with no personal over whelming passion of my own, I found it fascinating and inspiring to live with a person who had so much. I always thought of my self as an observer, a critic, and supporter, but never a maker. I felt a little jealous that a person could wake up in the morning with such a conviction of self, never questioning if what they are doing is the right thing for them or not. There is a symbolic concept for this. In the Tarot (divination cards) it is expressed as the Red Cloak of Desire. When a character in the Tarot Deck wears the colour red it symbolizes how they exhibit their desire and passion for life.
One day I wrote in my journal “Where is my Red Cloak of Desire?” Have I truly led a passionless life? Not really. I am a meditation coach, a Reiki Master, and a Tarot reader. All of these skills tend toward self discovery but are fairly passive in their expression. They are hardly practices that create a tangible result and certainly not practices that wake me up in the morning going ”Woo Hoo I can hardly wait to meditate! I want to meditate all day long!”
But then there I was, enjoying a meditation with my Friday evening group when I found my Red Cloak of Desire. It was an unexpected bonus, a happy turn of events. The meditation was one designed to help a person review and rewrite their beliefs. A form of creative visualization, the meditation directed us to conceptualize a wonderful beautiful mansion. We were to go inside and start climbing stairs. Every staircase we found we were to climb until, eventually a small door was discovered. The door opens to a hidden set of stairs that lead to a secret attic. It is in there that you find a box containing your beliefs and you take the time to review and rewrite them.
As the facilitator of the meditation space it is my job to watch the clock. We meditate in silence every Friday evening for 20 minutes. When I peeked I had well over 7 minutes to go, so I thought I would take the opportunity to snoop around my attic. It was very gothic looking with a half circle stained glass window letting in coloured light. It had antique velvet lounge couches and a love seat. It was filled with shelves of nick-naks, old trunks and a wooden rocking horse. Way at the back was a garment bag hanging from the roof beams. And when I opened the bag, there it was; a full length red velvet cloak with a hood and vintage clasp. Of course I put it on right away and swept down the staircases and out of the house and meditation wearing my new Red Cloak of Desire. What did this really mean? I had no idea. How was this to manifest in my waking world? I had no idea. Was this even going to manifest? I had no idea. I gave it no further thought.
Then about a week later my husband and I were at the Public Library. We were borrowing some movies, lots of different things like Claymation Inuit legends, a documentary on insects, a CBC production about a Canadian film artist, a Shakespearian Play, and a film about Art Dolls. It was that random pick that changed my life. I wept as I watched it. It featured a woman who had lost her daughter and, as a way of grieving, had made an art doll that was a portrait of her daughter depicted as an angel. The doll was beautiful and I was greatly impacted by the healing it facilitated in that woman’s family. The film continued showing many famous Doll artists and their work. I was moved. I was moved so much that the next day I find myself in a Chapters. I had become familiar with the knitting section over the last several years but I was ignoring the craft section right beside it, but not on this day. On this day I found the only book on doll making that they had. It was Creative Cloth Doll Faces by Patti Culea.

At this point in my life I had perhaps sewn on three buttons and had done a few Frankenstein repairs on a couple of shirts, but somewhere I found a piece of white felt and some thick black thread and I hand sewed together a head. By the end of the evening I had stuffed it, slightly sculpted it and coloured it with some pencil crayons. I remember looking at it thinking “hey, I can do this!”

Now, 5 years later I have been in a juried show, won a competition, shown in a gallery and am published in Art Doll Quarterly. I sell my dolls through my web sites: www.circleworks.net, www.DollsByJax.etsy.com and share a studio with my husband who is also an artist.

Welcome to Dolls by Jax. Every doll I make is a journey into the unknown. Each one has taught me something new. This is the place I will share this journey with you. I hope you enjoy.

Next Time… Isadora Tabliss My Creativity Muse.